If you’re reading this, you’re likely an expert in something database related. You know everything there is to know about SQL, Microsoft Azure, data analytics, maybe more. Perhaps you’re an IT specialist who knows your company’s digital infrastructure from end to end. If you’ve spent some years in your role, you’ve realized that, in addition to your technical know-how, you’ve probably had to develop another set of skills—interpersonal ones.
Interpersonal skills are often a catalyst that drives effective database management, IT functionality, and even business growth for small and medium-sized businesses (SMBs) around the world. In fact, according to a LinkedIn report, 92% of talent professionals and hiring managers say soft skills are equally or more important to hiring than hard or technical skills. Unfortunately, due to pressure to keep up with the latest digital advancements, we can sometimes overlook these. Also, depending on the type of SMB you work at, the budget may not accommodate employee soft skill training. Not to worry. Let me share a few things I’ve picked up over the years that you may find helpful.
- Respect Your Colleagues’ and Clients’ Intelligence
Effective communication is as valuable as tech skills. SolarWinds TechPod, Don’t Make IT Awkward discusses: “Did you turn it off and turn it back on?” In the corporate world, this phrase has become a common joke which explains many people’s interactions with their IT department. Often, the most obvious answer to a tech or business problem is the right one. However, this question can also carry with it an important lesson in interpersonal skills. Depending on who is asking the question and how they ask it, the customer or client at the opposite end of the question can be made to feel unintelligent for missing an obvious answer to their problem.
I have a colleague who leads an IT department and approaches this question carefully during staff interactions. Instead of asking, “Did you turn it off and turn it back on?" She begins with, “Can I assume you’ve turned it off and turned it back on?” She asks the question while simultaneously showing respect for the staff member’s intelligence and level of expertise.
This approach can be important for a database manager. There will be instances when someone needs to access the database and, although you may have provided them with the steps to do so, they still struggle. Don’t accuse them with, “You clearly didn’t do…” or “You obviously forgot.” Instead, have them show you their screen and take the time to walk them through each step. Even if it turns out that they’ve missed the most obvious steps, you will have built a better working relationship with that colleague, which will make your job easier in the future.
- Talk to Non-technical People
One of the best ways to practice interpersonal skills as a tech-focused person is to talk tech with non-tech people. In our roles, we might spend much of our day around others with similar expertise and institutional knowledge. This can make it easy to fall into shorthand during conversations and forgo some of the valuable soft skills we need for clients or colleagues in other departments. Whenever possible, try practicing conversations with people who aren’t in your field. This is a great time to lean on community both in and out of the workplace. Depending on the structure of your SMB, you may be able to find groups with similar interests or backgrounds that have nothing to do with the technical side of your profession (think employee resource groups or intracompany social clubs). Externally, depending on where you live, you may also find community programs that help residents improve their communication abilities.
- Find a Mentor
The good news about the corporate world is that many of your own first-time interactions have possibly been experienced by others. Try to connect with senior colleagues who have mastered corporate communication, body language recognition, and anticipating needs. Meet regularly with that mentor to practice different types of communication before it occurs. This could include everything from having them gut-check an email before you send it, practicing a presentation, and asking for feedback.
- Practice Having Tough Conversations
One of the most important interpersonal skills we learn, regardless of role, is conflict resolution. Our ability to handle conflict can either strengthen valuable business relationships or potentially lose them altogether. As we enter a conflict, the best first step is empathy. We must be able to see and feel why our colleague or customer is frustrated before we act.
It’s also important to practice what and how much to say during a conflict. Sometimes, we may need to politely say no to a request without over-explaining or being short. If we say too much, we may further frustrate who we’re speaking to and put the company at risk of retaliatory action. Saying too little might be perceived as crass or lacking proper client service skills.
Recognize when pride or ego gets in the way. As a tech expert, it’s tempting to feel we need to have the answer to each question that comes our way. Learning when to acknowledge the limit of your abilities is an important part of conflict resolution. Even if your “no” leads to an escalation, you can remain confident that you remained respectful, did what you could, and passed the situation into a superior’s hands.
Maintaining Relationships
Interpersonal skills are so important in today’s business world because strong relationships can lead to immense business value. Maintaining successful relationships, whether with colleagues, customers, or partners, allows both you and the business to maintain a positive reputation and expand your professional network. With customers, the business becomes known for kindness and empathy, thereby building brand loyalty. In-house, your colleagues will want to work with you because you’ve built trust, perhaps even through turbulent times. As people who spend much of our day deep in databases, soft skills aren’t the first thing that comes to mind when we picture our job description. However, these skills are what allow us to become invaluable to the business, an asset to our teams, and expand our careers to new horizons.